or at least, the video embedding. here’s a weird french video I’ve been watching.

createVideoWidget_v2(”107260″);

no, I guess it didn’t work. figures.

(This entry originally appeared on Infoworld’s Notes From the Field blog.)

Slouching toward Cupertino. It’s not every day the Second Coming gives you advance notice, but the resurrection of the Jesus Phone — in 3G, for the first time ever! — is now (unofficially) slated for June 9. Or so says gadget blog Gizmodo, quoting “someone very, very close to the 3G iPhone launch.” Who could be Steve Job’s personal masseuse’s second cousin’s mechanic, for all we know, or Citi analysts Richard Gardner and Yeechang Lee, who made the same prediction three weeks ago. Given that June 9 is also the date of Jobs’ keynote to the Apple worldwide developers conference, the most eloquent response I can muster is “duh.”  Now if Jobs doesn’t announce a 3G handset on that day, that will be big news. Memo to Apple fanboys: Please stop hyperventilating. It will all be over soon.

‘Wow’ now, brown cow. Meanwhile, I have the perfect trick to play on obnoxious fanboys who boast about their ‘hacked’ iPhones (and don’t give me that ‘who me?’ look, you know who you are). VistaPerfection 2.0 lets you take a cracked iPhone and makes the interface look just like Windows Vista. You’ll probably have to slip Ambien into their Krank2O, pry the phone from their soft clammy hands, and fiddle about with Secure Shell, but it will be worth it just to see their faces when they wake up. In other news: This item may be the only time in the history of Notes From the Field that the words “Vista” and “perfection” have appeared in the same sentence.

Small head Todd. So you’ve committed a heinous act and you desperately need a new identity so you can flee the country. (I know, happens to me at least once a month.) You could do worse than steal Todd Davis’s Social Security Number. The CEO of Lifelock got famous for posting his SSN on his company’s home page, and then infamous when a Texas drifter used Davis’s identity to cash a $500 check. Now Lifelock is being sued by customers in three states, saying the company’s ID Theft protection services don’t work — and they’re using Davis’s own experience as Exhibit A. Attorney David Paris claims he’s found 20 instances where strangers have tried to use Davis’ Social to obtain IDs. Davis says that’s nuthin’. Thieves have nabbed his name 87 times, he says, but aside from the Texas drifter nobody’s managed to get any money out of it. So the next time the Feds are pounding on your door, just open it and say “Hi, my name is Todd Davis, and my Social Security Number is 457-55-5462.” If you’re lucky you’ll get to share a cell with all the other guys named Todd Davis.

Got hot tips or fake IDs? Post them below or send them to me: cringe (at) infoworld (dot) com. Top tipsters qualify for cool swag (but, sorry, no unlocked iPhones). 

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How much more fun the internet has become … and how strange. I’m trying out Joost, watching a choice selection from the Kung Fu network. Early 70s, very wuka-wuka-wuka soundtrack. There’s a chat window open next to this blogging window, with the usual stupid nonsense going on. Is this an improvement on TV? I’m not so sure.

From Joost : Hands Of Death

Kung Fu at it´s best!

(This entry originally appeared in Infoworld’s Notes from the Field blog.)

by Robert X. Cringely

I met a gin-soaked barroom queen…. While I was digging through the Net looking for the skinny on Sequoia Voting Systems and its mystery contractor Kwaidan Consulting (aka Mike Gibbons), the Bradblog’s Brad Friedman was doing the same. He managed to unearth a cached version of Gibbons’ MySpace page that’s just a wee bit different than the current model. Instead of a photo of Gibbons shaking hands with Bush I, this one shows a good-old-boy leaning against the hood of a pickup. The list of people Gibbons wants to meet has changed too. Instead of Jesus, Einstein, and Newton, Gibbons was looking for “a well endowed blonde nymphomaniac … that likes to be under the influence of Jim Beam whiskey in a dimly lit room at least 3 times a week.” (Hmm, Jesus or a busty nymphomaniac – that’s a tough call.) It’s nice to know the gatekeepers of our electoral system go shopping for their code experts in New Orleans bordellos.

We like to watch. At last week’s Digital Home Conference, Comcast senior veep Gerald Kunkel casually dropped the bombshell that the ISP was experimenting with putting cameras into its set top boxes, so it can tell who’s watching the tube. No, that’s not a joke. They want to see whether it’s the kids parked in front of the idiot box or dad snoozing in his Barca Lounger, then automatically switch to their favorite channels or serve up ads appropriate to each (like sugar-packed cereals and adult-friendly pharmaceuticals). After Chris Albrecht broke that story on his New TeeVee blog, a s***storm ensued. Comcast then backtracked considerably, saying it never intended to peer into people’s living rooms, it was merely experimenting with a Wii-like gesture controlled interface. Right. Just like they never blocked Bit Torrent traffic on their network. Sure, fine, we believe you. Just remember: While you’re watching Big Brother, Big Brother may be watching you.

Me and my marrow. On a personal, non-snarky note: My friend and colleague, Emru Townsend, wants your blood bone marrow. At least, if you’re a healthy person under age 60 of West African descent he does. Emru, the founder of Frames Per Second magazine and a regular contributor to PC World, has leukemia and cannot find a matching donor. There’s apparently a huge shortage of marrow from people of color, and this is a game where race really does matter. A gaggle of people are working to find Emru a donor; they’ve created a web site where you can learn more about his story and sign up to be a donor. Visit Heal Emru, and tell your friends. You could end up saving somebody’s life.

Got hot tips or tech news of note? Post them below or send email to cringe (at) infoworld (dot) com. Super swag awaits those whose tidbits are deemed blog worthy.

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